Networking, When Everyone Is Networking

There was a time when networking felt optional. Something you did at events, exchanged a few business cards, followed up on LinkedIn, and then moved on.

Today, it feels like a constant hum in the background of our careers. Everyone is doing it, talking about it, “building connections.” And especially in a tough market like today, networking is often positioned as the only way to get a job.

But hardly anyone tells you how. And that’s where the confusion starts.

Because somewhere along the way, networking became transactional. A means to an end. A message sent when you need something, a call scheduled when you’re in transition, a name remembered only when it’s useful. It starts to feel less like building relationships and more like managing opportunities.

I remember when I first moved to North America, I kept hearing this word everywhere: ‘networking’. It felt intimidating. Like there was a right way to do it that everyone else seemed to understand, and I didn’t.

Over time, I had to figure out my own way. What networking actually means to me, and what it can become when it’s done in a way that feels real and sustainable.

If no one has really told you how to approach it, this is a good place to start. These are my personal takes on what networking can be, and what I think it should be.

#1 – Don’t start networking in a moment of panic

Most people start networking when they need a job. And you can tell. The tone shifts, there’s a sense of urgency, and the message becomes a little too direct, a little too transactional. Even when it’s polite, it carries weight.

The problem isn’t that it’s wrong. It’s that it’s late.

Networking works best when there’s no immediate ask. When conversations are open-ended and driven by curiosity rather than urgency. When you make it a habit, something you do consistently over time, it stops feeling like networking altogether. You check in without a reason, you share something that reminded you of them, you stay loosely connected in a way that feels natural.

What you build over time isn’t a list of contacts, but relationships that evolve gradually. So when the moment comes: when you are looking, or when an opportunity appears – you’re not reaching out cold. You’re continuing a conversation.

Women Networking in Toronto — Curated my own little network of design professionals in Toronto—one conversation and one coffee at a time. Over time, I started bringing people together in small groups. That’s how the tribe began.

#2 – Find a networking style that actually works for you

A lot of networking advice assumes there’s a right way to do it—events, large groups, quick introductions, staying constantly visible. I’ve tried that, and it never really worked for me.

I’m not a big events person. Call it social anxiety, but I find it hard to walk up to a stranger and start a conversation just for the sake of it. It feels forced, and more often than not, those interactions stay surface-level.

What I’ve realized is that I prefer smaller settings—one-on-one conversations, or intimate groups where there’s less pressure to perform. Spaces where the conversation can slow down a bit, and you can move beyond “what do you do” into how someone actually thinks.

That shift made networking feel more natural for me. Less like something I had to do, and more like something I could sustain.

#3 – Network at the level you’re growing into

It’s natural to build a network of peers. They’re accessible, and the conversations feel immediately relevant. But over time, I’ve realized that staying only within that circle can be limiting.

If your network remains entirely within your current level, the advice you receive often reinforces what you already know and what is already working. Growth, however, tends to come from exposure to perspectives that are just beyond your immediate experience.

The biggest shifts in my thinking have come from people who are just one step ahead. Close enough to be relatable, but far enough to give perspective on what’s coming next. They help you see around corners a little earlier than you would on your own.

And it also does something more subtle. If you’re a spiritual person like me, you start to notice how your energy shifts. You become the energy you spend time around. Your thinking expands, your expectations change, and in some ways, you start to manifest the direction you’re moving toward.

#4 – Don’t just network, but also find a mentor

A lot of people are networking, but very few are actually being mentored – and those are not the same thing.

A mentor isn’t a teacher. It’s someone you go to when things are unclear, when you need direction, or a sounding board outside your immediate circle.

What I’ve seen is that in moments of uncertainty, people reach out to many others at once. You gather different opinions, and it quickly becomes overwhelming. Too many inputs, not enough clarity. A mentor changes that.

Instead of starting from scratch every time, you have continuity. Someone who understands your context – your strengths, your gaps, how you think. That’s what makes their advice actually useful. And this isn’t something you build when you need it. You grow into it over time.

Shraddha gupta, mentor at ADP — A quick snapshot of mentoring at ADP. If you’re looking to connect 1:1 or find a long-term mentor, feel free to reach out and say hi.

#5 – Women need women in their network

This one feels personal to me.

A lot of how I show up today has been shaped by women I’ve worked with—managers, mentors, people who showed me what it looks like to hold your ground, to speak with clarity, to ask for what you deserve.

There’s one aspect of networking that still feels undervalued, and that is women supporting other women.

While advice can come from many directions, some experiences are deeply contextual to being a woman at work. Navigating authority, asserting ideas, negotiating compensation, and managing different phases of life alongside career growth are not neutral experiences—they’re shaped by dynamics that are often unspoken. That’s where relationships with other women become especially important.

Women who have navigated this bring insight that is both practical and specific. They don’t just tell you what to do—they show you how to do it. How to take up space, how to communicate with clarity, and how to advocate for yourself without hesitation.

Women in Design — This group started with one-on-one conversations with almost everyone in this photo. Then came a small meetup of six people, which has now grown to around twenty. But more than a network, it feels like a friendship. Women in design, built over time.

#6 – Build a network that isn’t limited to your role

Professional networks often mirror professional identities. Designers connect with designers, engineers with engineers, product managers with product managers. While this creates a sense of alignment, it can also create silos.

Some of the most meaningful opportunities emerge outside of these boundaries.

When you build relationships across functions, you expand the ways in which people understand your capabilities. A product manager may see how you approach problems, an engineer may recognize your systems thinking, a business leader may value your ability to connect user needs to outcomes. These perspectives often open doors that would not be accessible within a single discipline.

Careers are becoming increasingly fluid, and this will only accelerate as AI continues to blur the lines between roles. Transitions across functions are no longer unusual; they are becoming expected. In many cases, these shifts are not driven by formal applications, but by someone recognizing potential and creating an opportunity.

#7 – Expand the ways your network

It’s easy to think of networking as one thing—events, LinkedIn, reaching out to people directly. But in reality, some of the best connections happen in completely different settings.

Over time, I’ve found that putting myself in environments where interaction happens naturally works much better. Volunteering, giving talks, teaching, or speaking at events all create space to meet people without the pressure of “networking.”

For me, one of the most consistent ways this happened was through short courses. I did multiple evening courses at BrainStation at different points in my career, and it became a great way to meet other professionals in a classroom setting. You’re learning together, exchanging ideas, and relationships build more organically from that.

And sometimes, it’s even more unstructured than that. Just going out, meeting friends of friends, saying yes to plans. I met my first connection who helped me land my first job in Canada while playing spikeball in the park with friends of friends. That one interaction led to an introduction to his manager for an internship, which eventually turned into a full-time role I stayed in for five years. Even now, long after that phase of life, we’re still good friends.

When you widen how you approach networking, it stops feeling like a single activity you have to get right. It becomes something that happens alongside your life.

#8 – Give and follow up, Always

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” — Keith Ferrazzi

A lot of advice talks about “giving before you ask,” but it often ends up sounding like a strategy. In reality, it’s much simpler than that. It’s reading what someone shares and actually engaging with it—leaving a thoughtful comment, not just a like, or reaching out when something genuinely reminds you of them. It could be sending a quick message because you found something relevant to what they’re working on, or even catching up for a coffee with no agenda, just to stay connected.

None of this is forced, and none of it is done with the expectation that it will lead to something.

But this only works if you stay consistent. Most networking doesn’t fall apart in the first conversation—it fades after. You meet, you connect, and then life moves on.

The difference is in staying engaged over time, in small, low-effort ways. Because when something does come up, people don’t think of everyone they’ve met—they think of the ones who showed up more than once.